Nothing but the best will do when it comes to your precious pup. You're more than happy to cut out a few luxuries from your own lifestyle so your dog can attend the best doggie daycare in town. And while your own style may be lacking, your pooch's is totally on point. You can't remember the last time you visited a salon, but your dog has a standing mani-pedi appointment at the groomer. She's always dressed to impress, from her designer duds to her posh carrier. And you wouldn't even think of being seen without her blinged-out, matching collar and leash.
Your daily schedule always revolves around your dog. And when you do spare some time to get together with friends or family, it has to be at a pet-friendly location. Because you're totally bringing him with you. Otherwise, you would just spend the whole evening worrying about him and that's no fun.
You thought you were training her to ring a bell, scratch at the door or bring you her leash to let you know when she needed to do her business, but more often than not, she is just looking for a little outdoor entertainment. And you always happily respond to these cues by dropping everything and taking her out for a walk. So, really, it's you who has been trained.
You wake up desperately clinging to the edge of your bed because at some point during the night your dog has managed to take over the entire mattress. As uncomfortable as you are, you dare not move, as that might disturb your pup's sleep. You try to tell yourself that it's you who allows your dog to sleep in your bed, but deep down you know it's really the other way around.
You find yourself spelling out words like W-A-L-K and D-O-G P-A-R-K when you're within earshot of your pooch, because saying them typically gets him super excited — and you couldn't bear to let him down by not taking him where he thinks he's going. You also spell out his name when complaining ("F-I-D-O keeps hogging the bed!") because you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings.
You have your own Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts, but you can't remember the last time you looked at — much less updated — them. You're too busy curating your pup's social media presence — besides, she has way more friends and followers than you do anyway! And if your relatives were hoping to see your photo on the cover of your Christmas card, they're going to be sorely disappointed. Your card always features your dog looking her festive best.